Pitchfork

by maxcharge

If you’re ever bored and on the internet (only all the time??) go read Pitchfork ruthlessly butcher your favorite artists. If you listen to a band that’s know by more than a thousand people, the gentle folks over at Pitchfork have some strong and often hilarious opinions to share with you. I’ve always been really impressed and entertained by scathing monologues that are artfully mean. Here is a good example for one of my favorite bands:

For about 45 seconds of “Supremacy”, they actually sound like a real band, immediately after which hushed military snare rolls, chesty timpanis, and anticipatory string wells lead you to believe Matt Bellamy has unwittingly sauntered into a Michael Bay movie or Metallica’s symphonic tragicomedy S&M. And titans shall clash as Bellamy speaks with the conviction of a man who is either going to tell us they’ll never take our freedom or to release the kraken. With dramatic flair, he intones “your true emancipation is a fantasy,” which… OK. But “the time…” Go on. “…it has come,” that “it,” perfect. “To destrooooyyyyyy…” Destroy what? Make sure you put your drink down as Bellamy screams “YOUR SUPREMACYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!” because all of a sudden having The 2nd Law only in audio form feels pathetically inadequate– next time you will place it against footage from Starship Troopers, although the closest visual equivalent to this batshit moment is a dinosaur with a cowboy hat manning a F-15 and blowing evil aliens to bits while scoring the game-winning touchdown in the Super Bowl.

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